Who do they think they are, Kim Jong IL?

As soon as Kristen told us what the blog prompt for this week was, my mind immediately settled on an article that I had read in the past. 


http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/mean-girl-fashion-and-beauty-rules-at-cornell-sorority-no-mustaches-or-muffin-tops-636982


This article is about the Pi Beta Phi chapter at Cornell University and their strict dress code during recruitment. Now, we all have dress codes during formal recruitment, but I doubt any are as rude or censoring as this dress code. I have always had a major bone to pick with Greek life. I am someone who is all about being unique and doing what you want regardless of what other people are going to think. Now I don't mean like if you want to rob a bank or run around Thompson naked that you should do things like that, but I do mean that you should be true to yourself. 


If there is ever a time I say something or do something not completely normal (a bought of random, embarrassing dancing in public perhaps), and someone says something to me along the lines of "thank god you're not wearing our letters right now," I immediately want to slap them. I do not like when people try to censor me, and I especially do not want to be a part of something that would try to hold me back from being who I truly am. 


That is why this article really struck a nerve with me and was something that I wanted to share my thoughts on. Now, let me just say that I completely agree with and understand that the whole point of recruitment is to get people to want to join your chapter. Obviously, if you look hideous and unkempt then this is going to be very difficult for you. I am all for making sure everyone looks nice but when people are over the top and super unreasonable with their fashion demands (such as only being allowed to wear certain designers like this article touches on), then I see a serious problem with that. This article definitely falls within a stereotype many have of the Greek community (snobbery among others) that I think we want to abolish.


My personal favorite line from the article is "Pi Phi members should not wear satin unless they weigh under 130 pounds or the piece is from Dolce & Gabbana or Betsey Johnson (Ed note: Betsey Johnson as the epitome of class? Ha-ha-ha!)." 


Completely ridiculous and offensive or is it just me? 


Now, in terms of other things that happen within greek communities, this may not seem that bad. However, this is a class about fighting off stereotypes and highlighting the truly good aspects of our community. The following are some comments made in response to the article" 


"Sounds like a bunch of snobby beyatches if ya ask me!"
and
"I was never in a sorority. They all seemed too snobby/cutsy for me. I was a GDI."


So, while this may not be the worst thing for us, it definitely does not make us look good. 

So....

What does everyone think about this Tressel thing?

Naturally, I am always the last person to know what is going on. Whenever anything that happens with Ohio State is on the news, I am always notified of it by my friends that do not even go here. For example, one morning last year, I awoke to a text at 7am from one of my friends regarding the "cow incident." How is it my high school friends know about even the most ridiculous Ohio State things before I do? It's embarrassing. But to get to the point, I woke up this morning to a text from someone else about Jim Tressel's resignation. I know Caroline Ott must be raging about this right now (and by raging I mean drowning in her tears) but what does everyone else think? Good thing? Bad thing? Hate Tressel? Love Tressel? I'd love to know thoughts because I never know what's going on ever with anything. So hit me!

"if you see something, say something"

Dammit bystander effect! Making me reflect on things and dislike myself! I am in fact guilty of being a bystander. Growing up, other kids used to make fun of my neighbor/good family friend and it wasn't until i got older and matured that i was able to stand up for him and tell people to shut up. It was really upsetting to hear people make fun of him and it used to frustrate me because even though he isn't the coolest person around, he's a really quality person and those are my favorite! I get mad at myself for this but no matter how much of a leader you try to be, there's always an incident in which you're a follower.

Truthfully, it took me a while to think about a time that i had been a bystander. Not because i think i am perfect and would never do anything that i am not proud of but because such things make me feel guilty. i tend to dwell on things that bother me (in this case the shame of being a bystander rather than being productive) and just sit around and stress. Of course this is not enjoyable so i worked to repress these thoughts so it took me a while to call up these memories.

The best way to not have to be stressed or experience dislike for myself, would be to never do anything that would lead to me being disappointed with my own actions. Why do nothing and feel terrible about yourself after the incident than stand up and feel good about yourself in the moment and afterwards? i have been making an effort to do things that are good that also make me feel good rather than bad after the fact. For example, some homeless people asked me for a sandwich the other day and i went and bought them some food. did they appreciate it? No apparently they wanted something else! but still, it felt good to do something even if it wasn't appreciate because i myself felt good. And that is the different between watching something unfold and just letting it go compared to putting a stop to something while it is happening; the difference being feeling good about yourself instead of shying away because you're embarrassed to speak your piece and lamenting about it later. #changingtheworld1sandwich@atime <-- why do i always feel the need to hashtag, i barely twitter

In terms of the greek community, bystander effect really comes into play when alcohol and other things that could potentially make a situation go extremely wrong are present. It's that whole "if you see something, say something" thing that you are always being prodded to do in airports and on trains and subways. I usually make fun of the marquees that say that because they're annoying and so slogany but thinking about it, it'd be a great logo for the bystander effect! if you see someone drinking too much, do not just stand there and laugh, do something about it! and even worse if you see someone making a fool of themselves don't point at them and laugh and draw attention (which i always do!!!! dammit nicole!) because that's also being an enabler. When they are throwing up later they will not think that your ten minute stint of laughing and drawing attention to them was quite so funny. sitting here typing about how other people should not be bystanders makes me realize i should not be a bystander. sorry for my hypocrisy, ill work on it!

what am i doing with my life?

So once again I find myself not knowing what I want to do with my life. This always happens. Then i find something. Then it happens again. I always thought the reason that I did not stick with any of my majors and changed my life plan one thousand times was because i will never want to do anything as much as i want to do screenwriting. For the longest time i did not know if this was simply just a hobby or if this was really a job option for me. Naturally, I went for the responsible option and decided not to go to film school. How do I feel about that now? #beingpracticalsucks

I feel like my real problem is not that i dont know what i want to do with my life, it's that i do know what i want to do with my life and it doesnt involve working in any capacity whatsoever. Obviously im super cool and am going to admit right now what i love to learn and that i really value intelligence. that's why i get classical novels every Christmas, read twenty pages, and then never look at the books again. #whatawaste

So what do i want to do with my life? i want to pursue knowledge! This should be a career, i should get paid for such a thing. Anything that is new is not boring but when it comes to applying something i have already learned well, i already learned it so i have no interest! i want to travel. i need to travel. i get bored soooo easily that i constantly need to change things up. Even when i manage to settle on something i am interested in, i put my whole self into it and then just drop it because i get tired of doing anything with any sort of repetition. i want to travel the world and experience the lives of others. i would even work in a field as a harvester of coffee beans just because it is something different. maybe if i got to see every continent, ocean, and mountain range on this earth then i could settle into a job because all of my curiosities would be resolved. or i'd just want to go to space or something. #timetravelnext

OATH

The first thing I think of when hearing the word 'oath' is promise. However, it's not really a promise is it? People make promises all the time yet those are rarely kept. There is no real reason to keep a promise, nothing beyond the fact that you gave a friend your word. If you tend to think mostly of yourself then the likelihood that you'll care about keeping a promise that does nothing for you personally is very slim. An oath is different however, an oath will affect you directly.

Although both are intangible (we know that they are there simply because we made them not because there is an oath plaque or anything), the act of making an oath resonates with us. Thinking of marriage as an oath is really something. Whenever people talk about marriage to me (which is really never, I do not know what I am saying maybe my aunt said something to me about it a few times), they are specific to use the word 'promise.' I think this makes sense considering the way marriages seem to go these days and the fact that the divorce rate is constantly increasing. People are not looking at it as an oath, they are looking at it as a promise and "promises are meant to be broken" (That may not be a quote or a saying I cannot remember, bare with me please). Now I'm no marriage counselor, but in my opinion, people are much more nonchalant these days about marriage, overall that is. People need to understand the seriousness of marriage, that it is a sacred oath, not something you can test drive like buying a new car.

Perhaps the Greeks out there who do not take Greek Life seriously and see it as nothing more than one big party, do not understand the meaning of the oath that they take. Maybe they did not even realize they were taking an oath and it was just another day at the beach for them. I think that people need to think long and hard about what it really means to make this oath rather than just make it and run with it. We talked a lot last class about the negative stereotypes against us and how some greek members perpetuate those stereotypes. I am by no means trying to say that perpetuating those stereotypes means that you are not living up to your oath, but with things like TFM, we are really pushing unimportant, nonsensical things to the forefront of our 'image' and leaving all that we promised in our oath on the back burner. With all of this nonsense representing us and being our 'master status,' people will not see that we are living up to our oath and acknowledge that we are doing a good job even if we are. And this is because of the thick layer of nonsense under which our good deeds and oath is hidden by.

Citizenship

I must say, citizenship is not something I often think about. Even when I am doing something in the sense of "good citizenship," I am not fully acknowledging what this is or what this means. To be truthful right off the bat, I am not sure that myself, my chapter, or the Greek community at large truly embodies this "citizenship." Sure, we put on community service events, we have our annual philanthropies, and we try to 'bond' with the community at large but are we doing these because we have to or because we want to? Are we putting on these events and putting effort into fundraising for charities because we have a true connection to them and want to be good citizens who better our communities?

In terms of my own display of citizenship, I feel that I do display it within Delta Zeta and to my chapter members, but I do not feel like a truly active citizen within the larger society. This upsets me but I have never really reflected too heavily on it before. (Hillary Doyle won't stop interrupting this blog post. She doesn't understand the true meaning of citizenship and is acting in a reverse context. She is just sitting here drawing pictures of Kristen and uploading videos of her in a moon bounce on the Hillary Doyle Delta Zeta youtube channel. Sigh, some people!) As a leader in my chapter, I truly do look out for the interests of my chapter members and do whatever is within my power to see that all that I can possibly do gets accomplished. So do I have a sense of citizenship as an individual within my own chapter? You bet I do!

Does my chapter display citizenship within the Greek community? This could go either way. Citizenship is providing something to the community, giving back to the larger entity that you are a part of. While we do have philanthropies and attend community service events, but why do we do these things? Do we do this because we need to reach a number of community service hours each quarter to avoid fines or is it because we genuinely want to give back to the community? I do not want to generalize to all my chapter members however. Some genuinely do attend and host community service events with the intention of supporting their fellow Greek members and helping them raise money for their respective philanthropies. In terms of displaying a more meaningful, direct citizenship to other chapters in the community, I do not really feel that we do.

Does the Greek community as a whole display citizenship within the greater university community? I think that we like to think that we better the world and I am sure that some of us do. I am sure that some of us prove to be good citizens out in the real world, the world beyond fifteenth street, but at the end of the day, is that really what our Greek community is about? Or is our Greek community one that cares more about partying and being paired with the cool kids for Homecoming and Greek Week?

This blog prompt  is a hard one to tackle because I do not like making generalizations. I certainly do not want to lump the entire Greek community together under the one umbrella of general statements (statements that I must say are not that endearing). If any Greek members are out there displaying citizenship to the wider world, it definitely would be the members of this class. For leaders within this chapter are more than likely leaders in other organizations as well and carry their philosophies of leadership with them on a day to day basis. The original assignment for this class was to go out and change the world. On the first day, we set about trying to find ways to better the greater community. Surely we can do this but it is hard to mobilize such a large, diverse group of people. It is ever harder for the greater community to want to accept our 'help' and 'citizenship' if we continue to make fun of them for being 'GDIs,' or not being like us. It is hard to think that a group of people who use such words seriously would really want to go out and put effort into bettering the world around them.

EILEEN TRIPPED ON THE STAIRS IN THE ROUND MEETING ROOM

Eileen tripped on the stairs in the round meeting room during class yesterday. Does everyone remember this? I sure hope so! I said I'd blog about this so I did.